Bigger, louder and more annoying, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen won't disappoint fans of the first film, but the paucity in script and character are even more visible this time round and Michael Bay's contempt for his audience is almost discernible. The effects are great and fans of the first film won't be disappointed, but what we actually ask for here is a spot of genuine emotion and intelligence.
The story is fairly simple. The century-long war between two races of robotic shape-shifter aliens - the Autobots and the Decepticons - continues, with the fate of the universe at stake. Hyperactive teenager Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is the Earth boy who holds the secret that will tip the balance in their fight. This powerful metal shard is what rogue Decepticons need in order to free their nasty destructive leader Megatron (voice of Hugo Weaving), who was last seen at the bottom of the North Atlantic. Sam is heading for college without his gorgeous mechanic girlfriend Mikaela (Megan Fox) and parents (Julie White and Kevin Dunn). Meanwhile, the evil giant robots are hot on his trail, while Captain Lennox (Josh Duhamel) and Sargeant Epps (Tyrese Gibson) from the elite Government squad NEST, joined forces since the events of the first film with the Autobots, led by Optimus Prime (original cartoon voice actor Peter Cullen) are quick to hunt down the remaining Decepticons. However, after chasing a giant robot through Shanghai, they receive a warning that a sinister entity known as "The Fallen" is heading for Earth. A hunt is on for a precious device that will destroy the Earth, and only the actions of our reluctant all-American adolescent Sam can save the day.
Contriving the entire story are the Decepticons' and the Autobots' differing relationships with the human race. For the Decepticons, the human race is disposable, a tool for their own survival, and a barrier deserving of destruction. Although the Autobots could also gain from human destruction, to them, the human race is instead worth preserving, protecting, and even sacrificing themselves to save. The parallel may not be exact, but with the leader of the Decepticons named "The Fallen", and Optimus sacrificing himself for Sam in both the last movie and this one, you could say that the Decepticons pretty much represent the warriors of Satan and the Autobots the army of God. However, that still leaves the movie far from subtle.
As anyone would expect from a Bay sequel, everything is bigger in the sequel with a lot more robots, so many that it's actually impossible to keep track of them all, though the CGI is even more impressive, with spectacular robot-based effects sequences coming thick and fast. The extraction of Hollywood's greatest commotion producer status is beginning to show on the action pseudo-auteur Bay, so don't be surprised if you see the same-old asteroid attack from Armageddon, the Navy bombing from Pearl Harbor, and the black buddy banter from Bad Boys. and see the plot of the first Transformers movie all stitched together with exaggerated technical tricks and dramatically accidental results.
Beside its incomprehensibility, the plot is so dull and filled with similar formula: X versus Y plus mighty talisman held by Z, usually a human boy or girl of destiny. The rest is just chase and fight scenes, as a whirlpool of plot holes, thrown in unfunny comedy and booty, in the form of Fox. It's alright to have fantastic action scenes, but unfortunately character, humor and acting are atrocious. Mostly, like its predecessor, the movie simply presumes absolutely wrong that the weakening sight of giant metallic computer-generated robots punching and kicking each other for 147 minutes is good enough in itself.
Bay's tendency to make everything too loud and brainless - as in Bad Boys, Coyote Ugly, Armageddon, and Pearl Harbor - is kept in check. Fundamentally, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is so loud and ridiculous that it's like being shouted at by boneheads for two and a half hours. The resulting dissonance completely drowns out the dialogue, while the comedy is largely juvenile and insulting and the characters are so paper thin that it's hard to care about any of them, with lots of action but that comes after character, humor and story.
Bay has savagely destroyed the promise of this franchise with this contemptible attempt at an action film, and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is another giant, useless imbecile of an action flick that presents a deplorable experience of unendurable length, briefly underlined by three or four amusing moments. It sums up everything that is most enervating, insensitive and repulsive about modern Hollywood as it's unrefined, vociferous, dim-witted and too long, tinged with bitterness and ill temper - aimed at the easy targets of Bush-era politics, rather than anything reflecting Obama's new generation.